


adam.

by protect-me (troshby)



Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: Break Up, M/M, Self-Acceptance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-01
Updated: 2014-12-01
Packaged: 2018-02-27 17:50:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2701856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/troshby/pseuds/protect-me
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>michael's journey after adam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	adam.

Things don’t always happen as one might hope that they do. People drift apart, they stop communicating, stop caring for each other. The most painful situation is when only one person stops doing all those things. It tears the person apart inside. It makes them feel as if all that happened was _their_ fault. Somehow, sometimes, it isn’t. The other person just stops. And it really fucking sucks. It sucks to see them walking away from something that was supposed to last forever. 

That’s exactly what happened to Michael with Adam. Adam was about nine years older than him- and Michael supposed _that_ was why they split up- but just as unstable. Unlike Michael, Adam was still closeted. He didn’t tell anyone about _who_ he really was interested in, kept it all to himself. Which is why no one knew why one day Michael was just really fucking sad. They didn’t know where all this feeling of despair and sadness came from- they didn’t _know_. 

It took a lot for Michael to let anyone in- after Adam- because he just closed himself down. He didn’t let anyone see his true emotions, didn’t let himself cry or frown in front of anyone. He always had a straight face whenever he was with someone. One day Michael got tired of everything, got tired of not letting himself _feel_ anything so he started to smile to himself in the mirror. He did this every morning, trying to convince himself that he could be happy, that his life wasn’t over yet, it had just begun. Sure Adam was gone, but that doesn’t mean love was. 

This realization lead to a string of one night stands that ended up with him chasing after the guy for a few days and then realizing that they didn’t care much for him. Until one day, he finally met someone. He met someone that could finally help him be happy again, someone he could be happy _with_. He didn’t care that the guy was around Adam’s age, because fuck, why did age need to play a deciding factor in his happiness? He was so happy, for so many months, that he wanted to cry everytime he saw _him_. 

Everything had been going so well, so smoothly, until the age thing reared its ugly fucking head in the relationship once again. The guy said that Michael was too young- granted he was _only_ 24 and the guy was 31- and that this relationship couldn’t progress any more than it already had, meaning they had to end things right where they were. It was over. So over that Michael could feel himself going down the same path he did with Adam. 

For the next few months, Michael lived alone, all by himself. He went to work, came home, drank, showered, went to sleep, and repeated everything the next day. He didn’t have anyone to speak with, for he had cut off all connections he had with his friends. Some tried to check up on him, but he always dismissed them, telling them that he was okay and was just working out some issues- which was partially true, but not completely. Yes, he was working out some issues, but he didn’t know _which_ ones exactly. Maybe it was that he needed to be so goddamn dependent on another man to make him happy. Maybe it was the fact that he needed to accept his fate, he was going to be alone for a while, and that he needed to be okay with that.

So once again, Michael started smiling to himself in the mirror every morning. He went out the door with a smile on his face. He wanted to let the world know that he was down, but not quite out. Each day his smile was less and less forced, and came more naturally. He started to notice his morning ritual was beginning to work. It may seem silly to some- to smile like an idiot in front of a mirror every morning- but it worked for him. And he was so glad it did. Because now, now he was finally going to be able to live without him- without Adam- the one that broke his heart all those months ago.


End file.
